The Sea Of Wackness Review Topic

[*Tahu_Nuva_Ninja*]

Please Talk about the new comedy here.

Here's the profiles:

Ok So I'm thinking about doing a new Comedy and I'll put the
Characters Profiles here (In Order of Appearance):

Matoran of Mahri Nui:

Defilak:
Loves: Video games, his MP3 player, cute lil' puppies.
Hates: Cats. Hates them with a passion.
Age: 14
Personality: As leader of Mahri Nui, Thinks he rules all.

Dekar:
Loves: Board games, Old fashioned things. Glass milk Bottles (Has a collection).
Hates: Defilak bossing him around. No Freedom.
Age: 13
Personality: Wants freedom. And Fuuunn! Oh, and a Pet Fire Drone like
the creepy black sea creature.. thing..

Sarda:
Loves: Bossing people around
Hates: People younger than him that boss HIM around.
Age: 15
Personality: Thinks he can disobey his parents and go to places where
no matoran would dare to go.

Idris:
Loves: Mystery novels, Grapes and Vegetables.
Hates: Her Name. So not mysterious.
Age: 14
Personality: Wishes she was a detective.. Like Shaluek Hohlmes, the
famed toa Detective.

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BARRAKI:

Pridak:
Loves: Apples, Burgers and Mice(The Computer ones... Has a whole
Collection of them).
Hates: Real Mice, Rodents and Cats. Oh, and the sight of blood.
Age: 30
Personality: Thinks he's extremely old. Likes eating apples so much he
has a red stain on his mouth. He likes it because people think it's
blood.

Takadox:
Loves: Cucumbers, Bathing and Hypnotizing crabs to slave for him.
Hates: Dogs, Cats and other 'pets'. Oh, and Carapar.
Age: 29
Personality: Thinks he is smart, hence the fake glasses with no lenses in them..

Carapar:
Loves: Rap music, fun and sushi
Hates: Crabs, creepy things under the sea... oh and Takadox.
Age: 27
Personality: Thinks he is handsome and the coolest of all. (Emphasize
the 'thinks he is').

Kalmah:
Loves: Reading romance novels, Watching 'soap operas' and getting fat.
Hates: Rap Music, or anything that will bother him from reading.
Age: 25
Personality: Wants to become a Sumo Wrestler in Japan, hence getting
fat... but Pridak says they need him here. If Pridak pushes on, Kalmah
might have to sit on him.

Ehlek:
Loves: Newspaper, Origami, Arts & Crafts, Toys and Computer games
Hates: TV, Books, Board games.
Age: 20
Personality: The youngest of the Barraki, thinks he is most wise...

Mantax:
Loves: creeping around, Shovels, and his sand box. Oh, and his pet... Fire Drone
Hates: Toys, TVs and anything loud.
Age: 26
Personality: Thinks he is the weirdest of all Barraki, thinks he is unloved.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toa Jaller Mahri:
Loves: Pie, Candles and Flashlights Oh, And Hahli
Hates: Spiders, Heights, Ice Cream and raw fish by the name of Sushi
Age: 21
Personality: Wishes he was a rock star, Not too humble, but, in his
opinion, He's AWESOME!

Toa Hahli Mahri:
Loves: Cake, Squishy Sticky Toys, Heights, Oh and Jaller
Hates: Dogs, Dark, Death
Age: 20
Personality: Wishes she was a squid, and copies squid powers with her
new mask. Has her own water-proof laptop with a prepaid wireless
...thing and gets internet wherever she is. The envy of all.... The
laptop.. not her.

Toa Matoro Mahri:
Loves: Ice Cream, Food, Junk food and Dark corners.
Hates: Translating for them illiterate 'other' Toa not as good as he
Cats, Wild bonfires and... pretty much nothing else.
Age: 17
Personality: The youngest of the Toa, thinks he is cute, likes his new
claw.. weapon.. thing.. but has no idea how to use it.

Toa Hewkii Mahri:
Loves: Breaking things... and things in that catergory, Heights and Cookies
Hates:Cake, Pie, or anything the other Toa Like...
Age: 19
Personality: Thinks Maku still cares about him back on Metru-Nui,
Wishes he was back home, and hates Junk food.

Toa Nuparu Mahri:
Loves: Sand... Tomatoes and TV shows
Hates: Water, creepy insects and things like that
Age: 18
Personality: Cool. Or rather, thinks he is.


Toa Kongu Mahri:
Loves: Air Conditioner. And Air Fresheners.
Hates: Water. And Pie.
Age: 20
Personality: ... Doesn't know what that is.

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Titans:

Gadunka:
Loves: Eating Brocolli
Hates: The fact that he doesn't know why he got so big? Could he
perhaps be a Sumo Wrestler?

Hydraxon:
Loves: Shooting things
Hates:... Water..

Maxilos:
Loves: His Pet Spinax.
Hates: When the water gets into his wires:

Maxilos (With Makuta inside him):
Loves: Donuts and fighting puny toa.
Hates; This dog, Spinax, that follows him around.

Karzahni:
Loves: His love back on his island... The statue of himself.
Hates: Cucumbers and Broccoli. And Dogs. Has a morbid fear of dogs.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Extra Characters:
Bob (Random Matoran 1)
Jake (Random Matoran 2)
Buddy(Random Matoran 3)
Sally (Random Matoran 4)
Defi (Defilak's Dad)
Lak (Defilak's Mom)
Dek (Dekar's Dad)
Ari (Dekar's Mom)
Sar(Sarda's Dad)
Da (Sarda's Mom)
Id (Idris' Dad)
Ris (Idris' Mom)
And The Extra Matoran's Parents.

[Somedude]

Too short. Way, way too short. The post you made here is longer than it. The comedy has potential, but you need to put more into the chapters.

~SD[/color]

[*Tahu_Nuva_Ninja*]

It was the INTRO. Yes, The first chapter is coming. Thanks for the support!

[Somedude]

>> still, intros don't have to be short.

I look forward to the first chapter.

~SD[/color]

[*Tahu_Nuva_Ninja*]

Well, thanks for the advice.

New chapter! Chapter One!!!

[Ngakunui]

It's alright. Though, it would be far more interesting to read if it was better written. You know how people write in RPGs? Try that. It's far more eloquent.


Other than that, is alright for a comedy, I guess...




-Gakurak